Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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