do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
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