Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
