i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
