I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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