3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
