so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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