i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
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It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
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Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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