Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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