She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize