I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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