pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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