So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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