Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
