Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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