They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
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If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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