I'm drive I can fine osifer
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
