Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
