Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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