there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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