well I can't set my house on fire every night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
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I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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