I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
