Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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