so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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