If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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