let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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