Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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