walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize