R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
