I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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