is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
