dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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