grandma shit on top of the toilet
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
