So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
