did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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