names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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