I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
