grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
