Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
