Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
