My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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