Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
