I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
