last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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