I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
