C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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