and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
