This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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