I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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