the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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