I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
