I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you never un-have a 4some
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
