you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
