and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
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