He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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